


Massage Misadventure

by Anyonesguess



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Angst, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, but like, items that are not sex toys but could be if you tried hard enough, just a lil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 23:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anyonesguess/pseuds/Anyonesguess
Summary: Leon had a special surprise for Chris but It didn't quite go to plan...





	Massage Misadventure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Miramise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miramise/gifts).

> Happy birthday mira!!!! I hope you enjoy this lil fic I had a lot of fun writing it <3

Chis Redfield had never been a particularly innocent soul. He knew what a sex toy looked like, and the things Leon was rolling in his hands suggestively while blocking the kitchen entrance definitely looked like sex toys. He eyed them wearily, along with the smug expression on his boyfriend's face. The objects were small, rigid, and roughly the size of golf balls made of either thin rubber or silicone. Given the way they moved in Leon’s hand, probably filled with gel. Chris wasn’t sure what part of the body they were supposed to be used on, but whatever they did, he was sure it would be interesting. 

“Okay, I’ll bite” He said, leaning against the kitchen doorway, “What are they?” 

Leon’s smirk split into a soft grin, further confusing Chris. 

“Massage balls.” 

Chris raised an eyebrow. That definitely sounded like a sex toy, but didn’t really explain what they were supposed to do or where they went. Not that he was chicken. He’d put them wherever it was Leon wanted them. He was already feeling curious about whatever was planned for the evening. 

Chris cleared his throat tellingly 

“For…?” 

Leon rolled his eyes, smacking Chris’s shoulder lightly. 

“For your back, asshole. I know for a fact you did something to it even if you won’t admit it, you think I haven’t noticed all the fidgeting? You’re not exactly subtle about it.” 

That caught Chris off guard. 

“Wait seriously? They’re not for…?” 

“No. Well. I mean I guess they could be, but I wouldn’t suggest it, they were like, ten bucks at target.” Leon said with a shrug. 

Chris laughed as Leon turned and headed into the kitchen. 

“Only the best for us, huh?” He called after him, before following. 

Leon shrugged as he stopped at the kitchen island, picking up the box Chris assumed the balls had come in. 

“Well, they hadn’t really been a planned purchase, I just saw them and thought about you. You’ve been stressed and I figured maybe this would help.” 

Chris was honestly a little bit speechless, as he leaned against the counter, still eyeing Leon as he looked over the box. He wasn’t really one for complaining about discomfort, just sort of dealing with it and hoping it would go away. It wasn’t like he actively tried to hide it, he just… didn’t want to be a bother. Leon wasn’t dumb and he was incredibly observant, Chris wasn’t surprised he had noticed but still. Chris’s throat tightened as he thought about Leon in a grocery store and thinking of him like that. He pushed off the counter and wrapped his arms around Leon’s waist, burying his face in his shoulder, breathing deep. 

“God, I fucking love you.” 

He felt the rumble of a soft chuckle as Leon gently brushed his hand across Chris’s arm. 

“Ditto.” 

Chris laughed, raising his head to look over Leon’s shoulder at the box. 

“So, what are we waiting for? This seems pretty self-explanatory to me.” 

“Well, they’re a little more complicated that just, roll them around on your back, they’re microwavable, the heat is supposed to relax your muscles and feel nice and some shit.” 

“You make it sound so sensual.” Chris deadpanned. 

A sly smile broke out across his face as he leaned in and whispered in Leon’s ear, 

“I think I have an idea on how to heat them up.” 

Leon let out a snort before ducking and twisting out of Chris’s grasp, walking around to the microwave. 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself there boss.” 

He popped the microwave door open and placed the balls on the platter with a soft clink. Not even looking, he closed the doors while still reading the back of the box in his hand, brow furrowed. 

“It says to microwave on high for 2 minutes-” 

Chris frowned, “That seems like a lot.” 

Leon nodded, chewing his lip, “Yeah, that was what I was thinking. I’m gonna try 30 seconds first and see how they do. If they’re not hot enough, we can try again.” 

Leon set the timer and hopped up to sit on the counter next to it as the microwave began humming.

“I hope they work out, I’m excited to try them.” Leon said, still smiling softly. 

“I’m sure they will. Even if they don’t heat up as much, I’m still happy you thought of me.” 

“Chris, you’re an idiot if you think you’re not on my mind 24/7, I could look at a rock and think of you” 

“Is that because I punched one or because I’m-” 

Chris barley registered the explosion, his world tunneling in as Leon dropped from the counter like a rock, the thud of his body muted by the bang. 

Chris’s heart stopped, his breathing stopped, everything stopped as he barreled over the island, ducking down in preparation for whatever was about to attack. His hands reached instinctively for Leon to check for injuries, body positioned and ready to shield him from whatever nightmare was coming now until he was back on his feet or help arrived. 

“Leon? Leon!” The words were too sharp and too fast, like the rush of white water.

Leon shot up at the touch, eyes wide and wary, searching like Chris’s for the threat they both felt. Their instincts were going haywire, a dissonance from the seemingly calm air of their domestic life, but false judgment can kill just as quickly as a bullet. He should have known, should have - 

“I’m fine” Leon cut off Chris’s train of thought, eyes clearing of panic as Chris’s hands still searched for his injuries. “Chris, Chris I’m okay, it’s okay” 

Chris stopped moving, eyes wide and staring at Leon, not quite believing him. 

“You- You’re sure?” His voice still shook slightly from the sudden adrenaline. 

Leon nodded; eyes locked on him. “Yeah, yeah I just dropped when I heard the- Oh _fuck_” 

Leon’s eyes drifted above Chris; the shock clearly painted across his face having Chris’s hackles raised in an instant. He spun on the balls of his feet, turning to guard Leon from whatever horror awaited him. 

And 

Well, it certainly was horrendous. 

The first thing that hit Chris was the smell, like the faintest of burning tires and cleaning supplies. The next thing he noticed was the microwave door. It was blown open, off kilter and broken from the force of the blast, a clear goop dripping lazily down into a small puddle on the tile. Yet more of it was falling in sheets from the bottom of the microwave, landing with a splat on the stovetop. Chris blinked in confusion as Leon stood to get a better look. 

“I can’t believe it.” Leon said as he stared at the mess of a kitchen, running a hand over his mouth. 

“They fucking exploded.” 

Chris stood, legs slightly shaky from the panic, but he wanted to see for himself. 

“Oh, jeez” 

All that remained of the massage balls were two rubber husks sitting in a lake of molten silica gel. 

Chris couldn’t help it, 

He burst out laughing.

Leon startled as Chris doubled over, howling, 

“Holy shit!” Chris cried between gasps for air, barely getting enough to force the words out. “They wanted you to put them in there for two minutes??” 

“Stop laughing!” Leon pouted, expression so genuinely heartbroken that Chris couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Then it split into a grin. 

“I spent good money on those” 

Chris lost it again, leaning against the island for support, 

“Babe, I love you, this was so sweet, but holy shit, this is the funniest fucking shit” 

Leon stared at the microwave with a disbelieving smile. “You know I actually am really disappointed, I wanted this to be a nice little surprise for you” 

Chris kept laughing “Well it certainly was a surprise” 

Chris wiped a tear from his eye as Leon grabbed a roll of paper towels in preparation for cleaning up the mess. He tore off a piece and moved to start as Chris grabbed his wrist and shook his head.

“Here, let me do it. How else will I repay you for the kind gesture.” He said, still laughing as he took the wadded paper towel from Leon’s hand. 

Leon didn’t stop him, but started tearing off more as Chris started wiping it up. 

“I think repayment for this would just end up another mess”

Chris raised an eyebrow, his grip twisting slightly, no longer asking for the paper towels but for something else. 

“Oh, I think that can be arranged.” 

Leon took the hint, dropping the roll of towels and standing. He wasn’t even all the way up when Chris pushed in for a kiss, one about as delicate as he was subtle. It didn’t break until they were in the bedroom, one mess left uncleaned in favour of making another.

**Author's Note:**

> and then they fucked the end, 
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed, I haven't done an actual written fic in a while lol, but hopefully I'll be back with my comic soon. irl stuff been killing me oof, lemme know what you thought!! <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Thank you Aideryn for betaing!!! <3


End file.
